[Weight of Glory] gods and goddesses

Firenze
Originally uploaded by Sethicus.

"The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbour's glory should be laid on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken. It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. ... But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendours. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously--no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner--no mere tolerance, or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment. Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbour is the holiest object presented to your senses. If he is your Christian neighbour, he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ vere latitat--the glorifier and the glorified; Glory Himself, is truly hidden." - C.S. Lewis

[Surprised] Fake It Till You Make It

To be ashamed of what you were about to say, to pretend that something which you had meant seriously was only a joke—this is an ignoble part. But it is better than not to be ashamed at all. And the distinction between pretending you are better than you are and beginning to be better in reality is finer than moral sleuthhounds conceive.

I have often subscribed to the belief that the first step in becoming virtuous is to act virtuous. Until now, I didn't have any explicit confirmation of this belief other than the testimony of two pagans: Aristotle and Garrett May. Those of you who have seen me a lot over the past six months may have noticed my habit of sticking my fingers in my mouth and biting (ala Caleb Winn) when I find the opportunity to speak folly. I have always wanted to believe that withholding those comments was only a step away from not having those thoughts, but I have also encountered the mentality that pretending (and desiring) to be good is a very far cry from actually being good.

With a few simple words, Dr. Lewis has solidly vindicated my belief in the "Fake It Till You Make It" mentality. Naturally, any comments in agreement or dissent are welcome. Oh, and along the lines of "times when I should bite my tongue," I really got a good laugh out of the following Lewis quotation:

It was a matter of taste: I felt the "charm" of goodness as a man feels the charm of a woman he has no intention of marrying. It is, indeed, at that distance that its "charm" is most apparent.

[Surprised] Societal Structures

Some might think that ... [Fribble] might have come forward and confessed his part when he saw what I was in for. But that, you know, was hardly to be expected. ... By coming forward he would have imperiled his social position, in a community where social advancement was the one thing that mattered; school is a preparation for public life.

One of the interesting things about Lewis is his keen perception of humanity and what it is that makes people tick. In the section quoted above, he explains what it is that keeps "Fribble" from coming forward to prevent the flogging of young Lewis in school: a community where social advancement was the one thing that mattered. As Danielle pointed out to me, it is not necessarily the case in 'the real world' that social advancement is the one thing that matters, or that social advancement comes only from the acceptance of one's peers. Lewis, however, was not in 'the real world':

At some schools, I am told, there is a sort of dyarchy. An aristocracy of Bloods, supported or at least tolerated by popular sentiment, stands over against an official ruling class of Prefects appointed by the Masters. ... It was not so at the College. Those who were made Prefects were nearly all Bloods. ... We thus had only a single governing class, in whom every kind of power, privilege, and prestige were united. Those to whom the hero worship would in any case have gone, and those whose astuteness and ambition would under any system have enabled them to rise, were the same whom the official power of the Masters supported.

Lewis here identifies the fatal flaw which made the school's class system of "Prefects" and "Bloods" and "Fags" and "Tarts" inescapable: the lack of a competing or alternative social order. Anyone with the ambition to revolt against the Bloods would have become a Blood before he had accumulated the clout to stage his revolt. And once he becomes a Blood, it would make little sense for him to attempt a coup. Thus, the Bloods remained in power not by destroying the 'rebel leaders' but by assimilating them. The few natural leaders who would not join the Bloods would simply graduate from the school before any changes in the social structure could be affected.

I think that's it for now. Perhaps I will edit this post and add more later.

[Surprised] Conviction

Originally uploaded by Sethicus.

A new element had entered my life: Vulgarity. Up till now I had committed nearly every other sin and folly within my power, but I had not yet been flashy.

Yeah... that was a stabbing conviction right there. While reading this chapter I realized, for the first time, just how little I desire to be the "flashy" person I have become since I began working at FocalPoint. I have lost focus of what it means to live a lifestyle of simplicity and virtue, and this I blame largely on the example set for me by my bosses. In comparing myself to them, I find that I am relatively modest and temperate. In comparing myself to the standard of modesty and virtue to which I aspire, I find that I am excessively indulgent and frequently prone to gluttony of material things.

So now that I've voiced my conviction, I face the age-old dilemma: What am I going to do about it? Well... that is a good question. I can't simply abandon all traces of flashiness (I do, after all, drive a BMW), but I believe that I can work on changing my habit of exhibiting and emphasizing the 'vulgarity' in my life. I don't know what effect that will have, but I am hoping it will be a significant and positive one.

On a final note, this document is something I wrote after reading Marcus Aurelius' Meditations in my Freshman year. It's a Statement of Character enumerating the goals I had for my life. I have achieved some of them and failed miserably at others, but I lay them out as a list of the traits which I desire to exhibit.

[Surprised] Childhood

Conways
Originally uploaded by Sethicus.

As I was reading Surprised by Joy last night, I had a few reflections on my own childhood experiences. I have few memories that have stuck with me as clearly as those recounted by C.S. Lewis, but what was particularly striking to me is the positive influence that reminiscing can have on oneself. As we are so often told, "it is not good to dwell on the past," but I find that it is quite healthy to revisit and examine the events that have molded me into who I am.

My childhood was generally happy--except that my social life was a bit on the glim side (everyone hated me)--but looking back on the growth process enables me to look forward and remember just how little control I actually have over my life.

*back to work*

[Surprised by Joy] Cardboard Castles

Narnia
Originally uploaded by Sethicus.

You can do more with a castle in a story than with the best cardboard castle that ever stood on a nursery table.

One of the things that I have learned since coming to Torrey is the constructive power of the imagination. I have often been accused by my teachers of having an overactive imagination (which often bore fruit during class), which led to my natural belief that my imagination was a disaster needing to be squelched. My mother was instrumental in encouraging me to focus my imagination in such a way as to harness the productive energies therein. She would encourage me to draw planes and trains and cars, to tell stories that would defy physical and biological principles, and to soil my clothes in our backyard sandpit building all sorts of tracks and arenas for my imagination to run wild.

Lewis continues on in Surprised by Joy to remark how void of poetry his early worlds of invention were. Sadly, I find that my has always been deficient in the area of poetry, except that I have come to cherish "that which is poetic" in many significant ways. Whenever I discover a friend with one of those souls which bleeds poetry, she (as is usually the case) instantly gains an influence in my life. I tend to revere that which I do not possess, and I likewise revere those whose souls are full of the poetry that I do not comprehend. As I remember, it was Vanauken's A Severe Mercy (given me courtesy of Kathryn Jones) that first clued me in to the power of poetry over the soul. After that, it was the Torrey Theatre experience that showed me that my soul was not dead to the moving power of art and beauty, as I had previously suspected to be the case.

Thus endeth the first reflection on the dozen or so Lewis books I will be reading in the coming months.